Wanderlust is after something in her house. She writes,
So I dusted, scrubbed, mopped, and polished every square inch to fall on my “Ah-hah!” moment, and I finally did find it. A little piece of rock, hiding shyly behind my closet door, just waiting to be put on a pedestal. This tiny, but beautiful pink rock, streaked with shades of grey, speckled with even tinier pores that the wind and the rain left behind, and all the other bits and pieces that it took under its wing.
Here the author gives the rock character. It hides “shyly,” “waiting to be put.”
The author is “experiencing” the rock. She’s also investing in it. That rock could tip the scales of things. Only problem: the word “beautiful.”
Woops…Where’d I go wrong?
I met an exuberant Neha after her Brit Lit class and told her how wonderful this short piece is. I’ll not go into the word useage here, but I suspect I see where he is heading with it.
The thing is, is that the natural talent is here, and only the elements need be polished, by wind and rain and learning. Great job, Neha.
(NOTE: In general, why do the Brit Lit students come out of the course all excited and ecstatic, while the Creative Writing students seem to get deep and moody? Be forewarned, Neha.
English in general manages to keep my spirits high. It’s the rest of the world that gets me down, so I don’t think I’m in any danger of Creative Writing leading me into gloom. Depth is another dimension altogether.
I can see how the word “beautiful” alters the purpose here, but apart from that, I’d still like to know what I did wrong.
Gibb,
We take it personal.
Neha,
You really got down to earth if my opinion is worth anything.