Searching for Character

I’m currently programming a new search engine called Ask Colonel Hickory (no relation to Andrew Jackson). Not really, but it would be fun. Ask Colonel Hickory is not a boolean, tag, or relational search but deals instead with a sense of irony.

“Colonel Hickory, will we ever win the war on terror?”

“Georgie,” the Colonel would respond, “the war on terror will only end if you stop being freakin terrified. By the way, there’s a spider on your neck.”

Where will Wally catch up to the Colonel on his romp cross country?

Ask Colonel Hickory.